What is dating? How do we understand it? What are some of the reasons women date? Whom should we date? Where should we go for dating? What should we do on a date? How far may we go in our touching and kissing? Where do we draw the line? How do we know where to draw the line? These are questions we hope to tackle.
Speaking of dating, it is just recent in origin, as no record in ancient writings about it. It is a development of the past few hundred years in Western culture. Dating is defined as the middle stage in the process of finding a suitable mate. Usually, dating comes between being friends and getting engaged, so no define, establish, exclusive relationship yet..
Women often send out conflicting signals about the seriousness of their dating. They look at it in different perspective. When they are confronted by their parents they often insist that dating is just “for fun.” But to their confidant, on the other hand, they are more likely to treat dating as pretty serious business. Generally these conflicting signals reflect some of the confusions which they experience within themselves as they deal with and try to understand their own emotions. Or often times they send a wrong signal if they were not sure if such dating would end up something to serious engagement or not. There is a wait and see trial.
What is the purpose of dating?
Women believe that there could be a point in it because it would prepare one to a real relationship. For it is assume to some degree that when you go out with someone with the intent of getting married. Like one could learn from her mistakes and get more idea of what good and bad things to do in a relationship.
Though personally, women date to respond to the pressure that at a certain age, at least they have already been dated by somebody. At least when peers met, they have also their story to tell. And for those who are really use to it, just for fun and experience, and also to be proud of that she had gone through it several times already. But for others, it is really for seriously considering the right man for marriage. Hoever, if dating is taken without serious consideration to marriage Harris,J ( 1997) said it can usually skip the friendship stage of a relationship, where one can really know each other in a real sense. It also often mistaken a physical relationship for love; if done carelessly it can also distract young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future.
So there goes dating. Whom then should one date? Will she just date anybody who proposes a date? If for fun, yes. But may it never be, one needs not to count her fingers to be able to know the right man. Dating your best friend, whom you really know personally and had spent time in discussions, quarrel and able to reconcile, who disappointed her several times yet able to ask for forgiveness is the best and only man should one date. If one goes out for dating, it should be the person whom he/she had in mind to marry. The one whom to some degree has a personal knowledge already, and not just any caller. Playing games should be out of the question. Seriousness must be the game, and not trial and error.
How far then the two should go if they date? Will a woman just allow any form of physical intimacy apart from marriage? The Bible is never against sex. But sex is designed within the marriage bed. If there has been no wedding, then love and sex become hostile to each other.. If sex is done outside marriage it is usually done hurriedly and secretly under undignified circumstances. Thus the experience does not make love blossom and flower, but makes it wither away.(Trobisch, W. In fact having sex before marriage does not make both one flesh, as they are alienated from each other and bitterness begins to creep in. Why not flesh? Becausethey usually lack a purpose or a clear destination. In most cases especially when they are younger, dasting is a short term, serving the needs of the moment. People date because they want to enjoy the emotional and physical benefits of intimacy without the responsibility of real commitment. For a man maybe, when they engage into it, it is a triumph, a victory, they can prove that they are truly man. Which then is very selfish. But to women who allow this in their dating, usually at the losing end. She lost her virginity, she might be pregnant, guilt will be following her. Besides, it is always a good thing to tell the children ones both are ,married, that they have never engage to physical intimacy not until they were both wed. The example they set, will warrant them to have authority over their children to encourage and instruct them not to engage in it. Beside the fact that a peaceful mind and a clear conscience without baggages in marriage is very commendable.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
- Harris, Joshua. 1997. “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”. USA:Multnomah Publishers, Inc.
- Trobisch,Walter. 1960.”I Married You”. Austria: Baden-Baden.Editions Trobisch