Parenting is in no doubt the hardest job because there are no manuals, or laid down procedures to be followed. It’s every parents dream to nurture their children to be the best that they can be in life. Parents therefore have expectations that they hope their children will live up to. As a child develops so do the expectations get higher. Different parents have different standards of what they expect from their children. Some place the bar very high whereas some give their children a free reign. Regardless of the different approaches to this the bottom line is that these parents want the best for their children.
When a child is born a parent is full of all sorts of expectations. At first the expectations are more based on the biological development and as they grow older then the expectations are more pegged on the personality and the environment. A parent expects a toddler to learn how to walk at a certain period of time. Some Children may be a bit slow and the parents may put a lot of pressure for the toddler to walk that it may intimidate and discourage the child. This may also apply to a grown person where pressure is exerted from parents for example in education or sports that the child may become discouraged. Therefore as much as parents wants the best of their kids they should not set the bar so high that it de-motivates their children Expectations should be just ahead of the children capabilities so that they so as to not feel pressured or underestimated.
Parents want their children to be independent people who in the future can lead a meaningful life on their own. Therefore the parents start to teach their children to be independent. A child is let to do stuff that previously the parent used to do for them. For example a child is let to feed herself .Independence is earned as one grows and depending on the level of maturity shown by the child. No parent wants to be feeding a 13 year old and so all parents expect that their children will learn to be independent. However some parents have a hard time letting go of their children because they still want to be needed and this may slow down a child’s road to dependency. It’s therefore important for parents to provide a conducive environment for their children to live up to their expectations.
Discipline is a matter very close to parents because the society uses that mostly to judge a parent. It’s every parents dream to have a disciplined child who is always on the right side of the law. Discipline entails many things such as respect, obedience and many others. The society judges very harshly the parents of those children or even grownups who are always in trouble with the law because it seem as a failure by the parent to instill discipline or values to the child. Therefore it’s every parent’s expectations that their children will grow up to be law abiding citizens.
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It’s normally said that if you do not stand for anything, you will fall for anything. Parents want their children to share in their values and principles. Every parent wants a child who can fight for what they believe in and who are not easily influenced by what other people are doing. Most parents want their children to share in their values and sometimes as children gain their independence they tend to drift away from the ideals of their parents. This however should not be cause for acrimony as long as the values the children hold are not harmful to the child or society.
The major expectation that parents have for their children is that they may excel in life. Be it academically, socially or even spiritually, our parents want us to become the best we can be. To achieve this they sacrifice to get us to the best of schools so that we can get quality education and later contribute to the society. Some however in the quest of academic excellence forget that not all children are academically gifted and so they end up frustrating their children. Parents should therefore support their children in whatever field that they excel in and base their expectations on the reality. This should be done keeping in mind if the child is happy and comfortable with what they are doing. Different children are gifted differently and so expectations should be based on individual capabilities.
Parenting is not easy and every parent wants their child to grow up to be happy, independent and a high achiever. Parents should however be careful on how much expectations they place on their children because too much may disorient and too little may deliver little. Therefore parent should be positive and realistic on the expectations of their children bearing in mind that every child is unique. Expectations should be there to challenge us to be the best that we can in whatever field or place in the society. I believe every child should try and live up to the parent’s expectations regardless of how high or low they expect from us. If the bar is high it may be that they believe we can perform much better with a bit of more effort, if its low we can always try to exceed their expectations and make them proud.